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HELP! A Want Ad of Sorts.

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As VP of Brand + Creative for Ubiquity, Sylvia is a creatively driven entrepreneur with an unprecedented passion for the written word. With over 22 years in marketing and advertising and titles ranging from Director to CMO, Sylvia has worked with mega giants including Intel, Microsoft, IGN Entertainment, Activision, and Apple. She has also worked on projects with Jack Johnson, Mariah Carey, Denise Richards and YMCMB’s Lil’ Wayne and Birdman. Most recently, Sylvia co-produced Broken Eggs, the hard-hitting, feature-length documentary about the looming retirement crisis in America.

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February 14, 2013 at 8:49 am
Personal Finance

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2013 is my year. And I’m not one to create a bunch of nonsensical Near Year’s resolutions that I don’t stick to.

Example: Everyone in America suddenly runs to the gym on January 1st, purchases work out videos, diet pills, and every “you want a sexy body now!” product on the market, in hopes of looking like a movie star/swim suit model.

Then comes February. And gym attendance numbers start decline in a crazy downward spiral, and people realize that their hamstrings hurt, and that it’s work, and that they feel pretty sexy even with a bit of bulge here and there, and they go back to being, well… their usual burger-devouring, couch-enamored selves.

My finances will not be that burger. Or that couch.

I have realized that, in order to get on track, remain excited, and keep chipping away at this behemoth beast of a financial wreck, that I need help. I need someone that will keep me on task, but also give me advice on how to make my retirement dreams come true.

Truth is, I am not an expert when it comes to these things—clearly. So I am now taking out a personals ad so I can get a wealth (or lack there of) advisor/manager/lifesaver. It’s going to look something like this:

“Financial train wreck with lack of basic math skills seeks Financial GENIUS who isn’t afraid of the horror story that is my life. Must be the pinnacle of positivity and cannot be fearful of getting ears-deep in my financial ruin. Should not laugh maniacally and mutter words like, “Oh honey, you’re screwed,” even if you’re thinking it. Must love coffee, wine, and NPR.”

I just know that people will be knocking down my door to get a piece of this action. If I could make my life into a reality series, that would be great. Maybe even get some celebrity endorsements for Tax filing software, 401(k) products, and so on.

I’ll let you know how that goes. Once I find this person, I think I’ll interview them and post the results here. What are you doing to secure your future?

Stay classy, America.

Sylvia, aka Debt Girl